Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
