And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
