I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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