it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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