she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
