we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
