STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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