That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
