Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Randomize