I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
