Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
