Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
