We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
