How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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