I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
