I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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