i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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