Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize