When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
