Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
