You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
