The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
