Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
