Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
