never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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