Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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