Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
