I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize