I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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