i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
