So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
