It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
