Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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