At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize