I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
