I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
