your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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