You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize