this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
