Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
