I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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