4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
