Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize