Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
