You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
