I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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