he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
