I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
