just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize