Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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