Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
