Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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