I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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