Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
