the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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