So drunk its hurt
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
