i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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