her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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