I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize