hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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