then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
