after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
