Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
don't judge my taste in strippers
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I smell like Dick and happiness
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
