hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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