The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
