I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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