I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
