idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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