he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
