I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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