I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
