Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
