is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
