talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize