A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
