called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
