I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
