Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
