D3 body, D1 cock
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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