On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
