I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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