i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
